The New World


It isn't surprising if you don't know that this movie is already screening in Singapore. The New World is an Academy nominated movie about the love story of John Smith (Colin Farrell) and Pocahontas (Q'Orianka Kilcher). Yes, the same one who could talk to animals and looked like Mulan in Disney.

Watched it at The New Cathay. I love the cinema! Clean, good service (ushers and staff actually say "thank you" and "have a nice day") and sweet popcorn at last coated with sinful caramel. All right. I digressed again, but it's probably the only place you can catch this movie.

Hollywood romanticizes and dramatizes stories. To get facts right, Pocahontas was only 13 when she met Smith and could only speak her native language. I am sorry if I disappointed Pocahontas' fans out there. No, she couldn't speak fluent English or sing "Colours of the Wind".

The New World is a very beautiful, boosts striking visuals, but lasts close to 3 hours. Yet, nothing ever really happens! Yes, no Colours of the Wind. I admired the captivating scenery and pacing but it needs a stronger, focused narrative.

Have you seen King Alexandra? If you watched that, you would never cast bad boy Colin Farrell in another period movie. No, no. No, no, no.

The New World – Perhaps you may prefer the Disney version.



10 Things you must know about Ultraviolet
1) It stars the very chio Milla Jovovich with 'to die' abs, thighs and ass.
2) Milla should endorse shampoo, Loreal purple, red, black hairdye, B &L contact lenses and U-zap in the movie.

3) Ultraviolet is more chio than Electra, Aeon Flux and Lara Croft combined.
4) Ultraviolet (the movie) is worse than Electra, Aeon Flux and Lara Croft combined.
5) It is NOT a spoof of Star Wars.
6) You see white Darth Vaders and fire sabers though.
7) The best part of Ultraviolet is in its opening credits.
8) The worst parts are everything else.
9) Every ang moh heroine must speak an Asian language ridiculously. (Vietnanese for Violet - think Uma Thurman speaking Cantonses. Oh, she did!).
10) 701 men (both ang mohs, Viets, Darth Vaders and the baddie) cannot win 1 ang moh girl.
(To summarize, it's a 'so pa' movie when 1 girl kicks ass out of everything. There is really only 1 thing to watch in this show. Story? Got story meh?)

Ultraviolet - It's so bad I enjoyed it!



Before Desperate Housewives came along, I was hooked on a series of Desperate Single Woman Who Eats Peas for Lunch aka Ally McBeal. Lucy Liu seem to have taken places after it (maybe not anymore), and Calista Flockhart disappeared under the wings of a much older man.

Calista Flockhart returns as a nurse who has a new job in a rundown children's hospital, which reminds me of the one spurting green blood in a hospital based Japanese flick. The children see things at night, and talk to an imaginary mechanical girl called "Charlotte".

Is it scary? My friend who watched with me had his eyes covered for a good 10 minute, who claimed to have lost his balls momentarily. I think it's all due to the sound effects lah. This movie won an award for sound, so I can guarantee that some parts can be quite scary.

There's a twist! Emm.. no surprise. Even with the twist, the ending's still quite predictable, but at least I didn't laugh at Charlotte which I did for Sadako and Ju-On.

What's best about the movie? Calista Flockhart. No doubt about it. This girl can really act!

Fragile – Definitely better than Shyamalan's Unbreakable

V for Vendetta


People watch V for Vendetta for different reasons. Natalie Portman with her new hairdo is definitely one. The Wachowskis are returning at what they are doing best (after a dismal Matrix 2 and 3). The deeper and more complex political tyranny involved. Or simply for its dramatic thriller and violence.

Set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain, V For Vendetta tells the story of a young working-class woman named Evey who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked man known only as "V." People are poisoned by their government into lonely individuals following the flow of life. They have no autonomy whatsoever. Hmm...

If there is only one movie to watch this month, I strongly recommend V for Vendetta. It's complex, highly entertaining, thrilling, mind boggling and violent! Watching it in the light of the coming elections does leave one becoming cynical, I hope.

Matrix has been one of my favourite movie of all time. I think the Wachowskis have done it again – though the ending scene of several masked Vs reminded me of the Agent Smith clones.

Look out for the powerful scene in the middle featuring the lesbian actress. Something's missing though. Is it because it is rated N-16? Wait for the M18 one perhaps. Yes, uncut.

V for Vendetta - Visually vivacious and violent, very very vood

Failure to Launch


Matthew 'the-used-to-be-world's-sexist man' McConnaughy meets Sarah 'sex-in-city-family-stoned' Parker. They meet, and hitch, then sleep, but she cheats.

Introducing Tripp, the 30-something bachelor who still stays with his parents; Paula, the female Hitch who makes loser guy falls in love with her and dump them after they move out of their houses. They meet... and fall in love. Predictable storyline. *Yawn*

I do think McConnaughy and Parker look very good together and sizzle some on screen chemistry. However, too many lame jokes spoil the show. Their good friends are psychotic and losers in their own sense. Think cheap jokes. Paula's best friend wants to kill a mocking bird. Get the joke? Ha Ha. Not funny.

Failure to Launch reached No.1 first week in US Box Office. Nothing too surprising since audience love romantic comedies. Don't get me wrong. The movie's not bad, but it's not good either.

On another note, can somebody get my 30-something brother to off the house? But come to think of it, somebody should tell me where to get a place to move out. Hahaha....

Failure to Launch – Launched, but failed to impress



Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear...

One of the longest running shows on Broadway, Rent was the winner of the 1996 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, the Obie Award, the New York Drama Critics Circle Award, four Tony Awards and three Drama Desk awards.

Negative reviews have hit this movie last year. Has it arrived on the movie screen too late? Or should this musical be adapted on screen in the first place? Having watched Rent at Kallang Theatre (yes, Kallang!) last year, I felt that the magic and direct impact of a musical was lost. Sure enough, there were still moments I felt like clapping at the end of the song, but I suppose it didn't work in a cinema.

Other than Mimi and Joanne, the original cast members reprised their roles for this film, therefore good singing is guaranteed. Rosario Dawson was hot as Mimi, and the resemblance Karen Mok had in the leather suit was uncanny. Cheesy it may sound, but I loved Seasons of Love and Candle in the Wind.

Excellent singing. Infectious songs. So what's wrong with the movie Rent? 15 minutes too long? Should stay as a musical? Perhaps people just aren't interested with drug junkies, lesbians, homeless people who don't pay rent, and a HIV positive drag queen called Angel anymore.

Rent – Fans should enjoy hundred and thirty-five minutes of it.

Mad Hot Ballroom


Shaw is indeed very brave to bring a movie like Mad Hot Ballroom for distribution in Singapore. Despite the title, it is not mad or hot. It is a documentary about children taking ballroom dancing lessons which can get the local audience screaming "Boring!"

Taking it at face value, it is a charming and likeable piece which can get you cheering the children on as they get into the finals of the ballroom dancing competition. Beneath the surface, it's how children from different races and backgrounds come together for a common passion. Dance comes first, competition second.

Sad enough, some teachers and instructors are the one who think differently. Face the reality - is it really the process or the final trophy that really matters?

I am not sure if you joined the SYF or other similar competitions before. Think about how schools are driven now in getting gold standards rather than nurturing their students to enjoy the process.

My group didn't join any competitions when I was in school, but we enjoyed the process nevertheless. Would a competition bind or tear the group? I really don't know.

Mad Hot Ballroom – Pleasure lies in the simple process
. Doesn't have to be mad or hot.

Samy's Curry


Damage at Samy's Curry (Dempsey Road)...
Lime Juice $1.50
white rice $1.70
briyani $2.70
masala chicken $3.50
prawn $5.00
squid $3.00
curry mutton $2.50
fried fish $3.70
mysore mutton $2.50
fish cutlet $1.20
tandoori chicken $3.50

The moral of the story is...
1) White rice is more expensive than fish cutlet
2) Briyani rice is more expensive than mutton
3) ONE PRAWN is more expensive than chicken, squid, mutton, fish or even rice (!)
4) ONE PRAWN is more expensive than 3 fish cutlets
5) Mysore (Kelly, is it really called mysore?) mutton is not as sore as somebody
6) The curry's good, rice not bad, chicken ok, prawn......
7) You can choose to eat 3 prawns or watch 2 movies
8) People who look happy in the photo didn't order the prawn
9) I didn't order any prawn but it was left on my leaf

Brokeback Was Crashed


Brokeback Mountain
was crashed! And the Academy
certainly knows how to quit them. But alas, there are no major upsets in this year's Oscars. While most people are complaining about who-should-have-won-what, I am more dissatisfied with the boring ceremony. Where were the dramatic acceptance speeches and Billy Crystal?

Best Picture - Crash
The Academy has taken the safe side of giving the award to one about racial conflicts (We are the world!) than to one on virile cowboys. With last year's small time film Million Dollar Baby upset over the epic Aviator, it wasn't a surprise for Crash to do the same. I didn't think Crash would nab the Best Picture first because it would win only one other award (Best Screenplay). They obviously sacrificed Best Editing instead of giving it to other more deserving winners (Hmph!). Everybody leaves home 'happy', with Crash, Brokeback, Memoirs and King Kong all receiving 3 awards. What is this? Fen zhu rou?

Best Director – Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain
May seem like a consolation prize for him, but there's nobody more deserving than him. All Chinese and gays in the world will cheer him on. I suspect his next film is about to be about homosexuals as well. Think about it, from Wedding Banquet, Crouching Tiger (Not gay, but which tiger crouches?), The Hulk (Man with bulging muscles and ripping pants??) and Brokeback. His acceptance speech was brilliant and ended off nicely with a "Xie Xie".

Best Actor – Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Capote
This is a shoo-in. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was simply talented. And the youngest person to ever receive this award was Adrian Broody at 30. Health Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix... go figure!

Phillip Hoffman seems to have a weight problem now though. When the camera panned to the lum sup man beside Keira Knightly, I saw the resemblance. (What is Keira Knightly doing beside Jack Nicolson!!? I sense something that's as good as it gets.)

Best Actress – Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line
Oh darn! Oh darn! Does this mean we won't get to watch Legally Blonde 3? The next unhappy person has to be Ryan Phillipe who unfortunately didn't get nominated for Crash, and therefore has to take care of the kids, while his Academy Award Winner wife takes home a US$29 million for the next movie. Handsome daddy (who seem to have a pimple problem now) can stay at home to do the diapers. While Reese Witherspoon spent so much time thanking Joaquin Phoenix, I thought she nearly forgotten about her hubby.

Resse Witherspoon, our dearest American sweetheart, welcome to the league of actresses including Hilary Swank, Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts, Helen Hunt and Susan Sarandon who career took flight after they won this award... Wait, did their careers soar after? Then what happened? Yes, Gwyneth, where are you? Acting as a Mathematician? The last time I saw Helen Hunt and Susan Sarandon was in... Team America!! (Yes, as puppets.)

Going by the trend, lets hope Jessica Alba and Teri Hatcher gets nominated next year... la la la.

Oscar Winners


Best motion picture of the year

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Reese Witherspoon - Walk The Line

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
George Clooney - Syriana

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener

Achievement in directing
Ang Lee - Brokeback Mountain

Best foreign language film of the year
South Africa - Tsotsi

Best adapted screenplay
Larry McMurtry - Brokeback Mountain

Best original screenplay
Paul Haggis - Crash

Best documentary feature
March Of The Penguins

Best animated feature film
Wallace & Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit

Achievement in art direction
Memoirs of a Geisha

Achievement in cinematography
Memoirs Of A Geisha

Achievement in costume design
Memoirs of a Geisha

Best documentary short subject
A Note Of Triumph: The Golden Age Of Norman Corwin

Achievement in film editing

Achievement in makeup
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (original score)
Brokeback Mountain

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (original song)
It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp - Hustle & Flow

Achievement in sound editing
King Kong

Achievement in sound mixing
King Kong

Achievement In visual effects
King Kong

Oscar Predications


My Predications for Oscars. What I think will win (Who I think should win in brackets )

Best Motion Picture of the Year:
Brokeback Mountain (Crash)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:
Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote (Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role:
Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line (Felicity Huffman for Transamerica)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:
George Clooney for Syriana (Jake Gyllenhaal for Brokeback Mountain)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role:
Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener (Michelle Williams for Brokeback Mountain)

Best Achievement in Directing:
Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain)

Best Writing, Screenplay:
Crash (Crash or Match Point)

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced:
Brokeback Mountain (The Constant Gardener)

Best Achievement in Cinematography:
Brokeback Mountain (Brokeback Mountain)

Best Achievement in Editing:
Munich (Munich)

Best Achievement in Art Direction:
Good Night and Good Luck (Pride & Prejudice)

Best Achievement in Costume Design Nominees:
Memoirs of a Geisha (Memoirs of a Geisha)

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score:
Memoirs of a Geisha (Memoirs of a Geisha)

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song:
Dolly Parton for Transamerica (Kathleen York for Crash)

Best Achievement in Makeup:
Star Wars: Episode III (Star Wars Episode III)

Best Achievement in Visual Effects:
King Kong (King Kong)

Best Animated Feature Film
Wallace & Gromit (Wallace & Gromit)

Nanny McPhee


I don't like to admit it, but I dislike kids who run around and scream their heads off in shopping centres. I hate the invention called "wheelies" which give brats the excuse to knock into you, not say "sorry" and wheel off. Brats!!

I cringed at the idea of watching "Nanny McPhee". Would it be the same 'horrors of horrors' experience during Madagascar? Ooo... Thank goodness. The nephews/nieces of fellow reviewer's were well behaved. (Note: It' nephews and nieces.) I saw a 4 year old boy with specs. So cute! Probably a contestant in Singapore Brainest Kids. The words "Please" and "Excuse me" exist in his dictionary. Goody. Oh, and 3 girls in SCGS uniform. The school taught well.

Kids now are so lucky ah? I didn't get to watch my first movie till I was 12 and it was "American Tale". "Somewhere out there..."

The 7 kids in "Nanny McPhee" are boisterous and very ill-behaved, and I thought I would only see such sights at Carrrefour on Sundays. They drove away 17 nannies (just like how wives here will drive home 17 maids).

The moral of the story is: Get a ugly maid, I mean nanny like Nanny McPhee with 2 large growths and crooked teeth. The dad will never fall in love with her or secretly take pictures of her. The children may think she is a witch but who cares. As long as she gets her job done.

Emmy Thompson who played Nanny McPhee also wrote the screenplay. How talented! Don't we all wish our kids will grow up to be like her.

Such a joyful movie. Think it is such a refreshing change from all the Oscar heavyweights. Most importantly, they all live happily ever after... with behaved children.

Nanny McPhee – Your kids will love her. I did.

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